From the goshiwon


December 2014.

I got a text from an old friend. He was getting married in March 2015. He sent me a text asking to be a grooms man.

I didn’t respond.

Two weeks later, he texts me again asking, no, demanding why I didn’t respond back.

I gave a half-assed reason as to why. Something along the lines of me going back to Korea (which I didn’t do until September 2015).

Naturally he wasn’t happy. To me, it was all whatever.

What he doesn’t know is I fired him as my friend. We were friends for 27 years.

“Wait, how can you ‘fire’ a friend?”

It’s very simple: just don’t keep in contact with them anymore.

Firing my friends was a very difficult thing to do in my 20s. I always thought, “Well, they’re my friends! I can’t take them off of Facebook! What would they say if I did this?”

That mindset is why I never accomplished much, if anything, in my 20s. What’s that old saying? Show me your friends and i’ll show you your future. 

Your future can be determined by who you spend time with. In my 20s, I spent time with only gamers and anime people that had no desire to build. I was surrounded by talkers and I became a talker myself. “I’m going to do this” or “i’m going to do that”.

I never did anything. 

“I’m going to start a business!”

“I want to go to this country!”

“I want to be free!”

There’s a passage I read in the bible that woke me up. It asked me why I was willing to give my time and energy to people that don’t do the same for me. I was loyal to people that didn’t like me. I was cruel to people that gave me their time and liked me. It doesn’t make sense, I know.

The people that were good to me are no longer with me. The people I gave my time to left when they got what they wanted. It took me years to realize this was a retarded way to live my life.

Dropping my friend was the best thing I could have done. These days, I stay with people that not only encourage me but also actively grow.

The title says “When To Fire Your Friends”. Here’s how you fire them: just don’t talk to them. Don’t even have to make an announcement. Just leave. 

There are talkers and there are walkers. I prefer to be with walker. I also prefer to be with positive influencers.

I’ve been with walkers and positive influencers for two years now. They’ve helped me grow spiritually, mentally, physically, and financially. If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t have thought to make my way to Korea. I never would have made 8 million people smile. I wouldn’t have conquered my porn addiction.

Stick around with people that are WINNING and WALKING, not LOSING and TALKING.

Until next time. Peace and love!
Shaun